


The Soldier and The Assassin

by Singing_Siren



Series: One-Shots [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: And sorry, Author Is Sleep Deprived, F/F, Mostly Fluff, Some angst, nobody is straight, very short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 06:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12600164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Singing_Siren/pseuds/Singing_Siren
Summary: A collection of short Blackhill oneshots updated very very irregularly.





	1. I'm Coming Out Of My Cage And I've Been Doing Just Fine (not really)

**Author's Note:**

> This is short, but I hope you like it!

Maria marches down the hallway to her bunk. Her day had been fine until a new agent spilled coffee all over her. It was the only clean one left and now she had to find something else to wear.

 

Agents move out of her way as her steps become heavier and she starts muttering curses under her breath. But she still holds her head high and has her shoulders squared.

 

When she gets to her bunk, she freezes. The door is unlocked. The only people able to do that are on a mission in Brazil. Maria pulls out her gun and inches the door open, only to see a certain redhead rifling through her fridge.

 

"What the hell are you doing here? And how did you even get in?" A wave of emotions almost knocks her over.

 

"Yes, I'm happy to see you too Maria. It has been too long."

 

Maria drops her gun with a sigh. She combs her hand through her hair and puts her gun on the table.

 

"Nat, it is great to see you. Seriously though, how did you get in?"

 

Natasha just smiles and turns back to the fridge, pulling out an apple.

 

"Oh my god, you bribed Clint didn't you?"

 

"A good spy never tells. But, just as a random fact, he always crumbles when Phil is involved."

 

Maria sighs again, then remembers the reason she is here.

 

"Please, make yourself at home. I just need to find a new shirt then I'll be out of here."

 

“But you would look so good without one,” Natasha says with a grin. She bites into her apple and not-so-subtly looks Maria up and down.

 

“Nat, I’m tired. Not today.”She can’t take any more of Natasha’s flirtations.

 

Natasha’s eyes soften as she gets up and walks over to where Maria is standing, her hand hovers over Maria’s shoulder before pulling her in for a hug.

 

Maria stiffens in her arms but doesn’t pull away.

 

“I’m sorry,” Natasha says.

 

“What for?” Maria whispers softly. They both know why. Natasha had left almost a year ago to fight in Steve and Tony’s useless war. She had left Maria in the middle of a date. Maria had retreated back into her shell and hadn’t tried to contact her since.

 

“You know what. I really am sorry Masha. I should’ve tried to call you afterward. That was my fault.”

 

Maria relaxes into Natasha’s arms and sighs again.

 

“Let’s agree that it was a joint failure. I’m sorry too Nat. I missed you so much.” She pauses  and pulls away. Looking into Natasha’s eyes she says, “Wait, are you staying?” There was a hopeful lilt to her voice that she couldn’t force down.

 

“I hope so. At least until Clint comes back, and he said the mission could take weeks.” A smile forms on both of their faces.

 

“Then we better make the best of it.”

 

The kiss they share is anything but brief. As they topple onto the uncomfortable bed in the corner of the room, they laugh. Natasha makes a joke about doing this in her room next time but she is cut off by Maria’ lips on hers.

 

This is barely the end of their troubles, but maybe, Maria thinks, it will be worth it.


	2. You Make Me Happy When Skies Are Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria discovers one of Natasha's weaknesses. Really angsty so just keep that in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably OCC but I like this one more than the last one so, yeah.

Natasha knows that it shouldn’t bother her anymore. She knows and she tries. She tries and she fails.

 

It reminds her of gunshots and screaming. It reminds her of her own pain and the pain of her family. Of Clint and of Phil. Of her teammates and of her friends. Of Maria.

 

It’s all she can think about on nights like this. The pain.

 

So she hides her reactions to the sound of the storm vibrating through the Avenger Tower. She hopes to whatever God or Gods out there that nobody notices. Because she is in the elevator with four new agents and one Maria Hill and she would rather die than show them weakness.

 

So she grits her teeth and drowns out the chatter of the two agents in front of her. Maria looks over at her and something in the way her eyes soften warns Natasha to get as far away as possible. Her mind says to run but her eyes don’t obey and they hold contact until the elevator dings and the four agents scurry out.

 

Maria raises a perfect eyebrow and waits for Natasha to say something.

 

Natasha opens her mouth to speak but gets cut off by another round of thunder rolling through the small space. She flinches and a small sound escapes her as she tightens her arms around her stomach.

 

“Hey,” Maria says softly, “do you want to come up to my floor, eat buckets of ice cream, and watch sappy movies?”

 

Natasha turns her head sharply and furrows her eyebrows. Her eyes search Maria’s face for any sign of a joke but finds none.

 

“What?” she says, disbelief evident in her voice.

 

A small smile forms on Maria’s face,  “I said, would you like to go up to my floor and have ice cream and watch sappy movies?”

 

Natasha’s eyes water but she quickly closes them when another round of thunder and lightning makes the lights flicker. Her nails dig into her arms and she curses under her breath. The elevator dings again and the doors open, making her flinch and back away to the corner.

 

Maria slowly steps closer to the redhead and her hand hovers over Natasha’s shoulder.

 

“You’re okay,” she whispers. “Can I touch you?”

 

Natasha nods and Maria wraps her arms around the smaller woman. “Come on, Nat.” She guides her out of the elevator. Maria sits her on her bed in her room and grabs the remote. She turns the tv on with the volume all the way down, and hands the remote to Natasha.

 

“Jarvis,” Maria says to the AI, “can you soundproof this room, please?”

 

“Yes Ms. Hill,” comes the voice from a speaker in the ceiling.

 

The sound of rain and thunder from outside stops and Natasha is finally able to breathe. She takes a deep breath and falls onto the neatly made bed behind her.

 

“Can I take you up on that offer now?”

 

Maria chuckles as she opens the freezer.

 

The night that follows is full of laughter and tears.They manage to make it through two movies before the crying starts. At first it is just one tear but more follow. So much more.

 

Maria holds her through the sobbing, and she holds her through the silence afterward. They fall asleep intertwined in the bed, Maria’s arms around Natasha’s stomach, her head buried in Maria’s neck.

 

The next morning is awkward but, somehow, they make it through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review! Tell me what you thought! Also I need prompts to keep this going, so any suggestions?


	3. She's Driving Me Crazy, But I'm Into It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is acting weird around Maria and Maria cannot stand it anymore. Prompt suggested by Julia. I hope you like it. Title of the chapter from Harry Styles' song Kiwi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer than the others by like 300 words so I hope you like it!

She’s Driving Me Crazy, But I’m Into It

 

Natasha will not let it progress. She won’t. She is a trained assassin. She will not let such a little thing as a crush distract her.

 

But Maria Hill was making that impossibly difficult. Everything she did intrigued Natasha, mostly while sparring but she will not give Maria the satisfaction of knowing that.

 

Natasha can’t seem to stop the way her follow the Assistant Director as she beats the new agents to the ground. It is, in its own way, elegant. And hot. Natasha also can’t seem to stop the thoughts in her head as Maria orders agents around (including Stark) when something needs to be done.

 

She has to face it at some point. It’s not just a crush. It hasn’t been a crush in a while. Now all she needed was Maria to notice. It was harder than she thought. Natasha flirts and flirts, but all she gets from the taller woman is a small smile and a rare blush. It is not working. She needs a plan.

 

-+-

 

Maria sits down in the pilot seat of the quinjet with a sigh. The latest mission was difficult, but it is over now.Natasha had gotten injured and insisted it was no big deal. Because clearly a bullet through your shoulder is no big deal.

 

For the past few months Nat had been acting different around her. She has been using goddamn pick-up lines on Maria. The great Natasha Romanoff was using pick-up lines. Not only were they pick-up lines but they were bad ones at that. Also, whenever Maria walks into a room, Natasha avoids her. Straight up (haha) avoids her. Once she went as for as to climb into a vent in the ceiling to get away from her. Luckily that had stopped in the last two weeks. Though, it was replaced by an even more annoying action. Natasha would open her mouth as if she needed to say something but close it a second later.

 

Maria is getting angry now.

 

So, earlier when Nat insisted that being shot wasn’t a big deal, Maria snapped. She yelled and retreated to the cockpit where she now resides.

 

Maria had kicked the pilot out so that she could be alone and put the plane on autopilot. She was a good pilot but now she needed to rest. Her eyes have just closed when the door opens.

 

Maria jerks awake and squares her shoulders, but relaxes when she sees it’s just Natasha. Natasha opens her mouth to speak but closes it again like so many times before.

 

“Damn it, Natasha!” Maria snaps. “Say what you’re going to say or get out!”

 

Natasha moves to the co-pilot seat and sits down. After a few moments of awkward silence, Natasha speaks up.

 

“I have been flirting with you for three months now and the best reaction I got out of you was a laugh and a blush.”

 

Maria turned her head to face Natasha and raised one perfect eyebrow.

 

“What?”

 

Natasha stares straight ahead, keeps her face blank, and says, “I have been hitting on you and you have not noticed.”

 

“Nat, you have been using bad pick-up lines. So bad that it makes me wonder why we hired you. I don’t know the reaction you were looking for.”

 

Natasha glances to Maria and sees the corner of her lip move upward in a small smile.

 

“Do you want to say something?” That damn smile that kills Natasha every time is back.

 

“Would you, Maria Hill, like to go on a date with me?” Natasha says timidly.

 

Maria laughs, a real laugh that rumbles through your chest like thunder, and Natasha prepares herself for the worst. By the time she has up her walls, Maria replies: “Yes, Natasha Romanoff, I will go on a date with you.”

 

Tomorrow when they arrive at S.H.E.I.L.D. HQ, they don’t stop smiling. Even as they spar and attract a small audience, they laugh through it. The agents already made bets on why Hill and Romanoff are laughing. The leading bet was that on their mission they got to torture somebody, because what else would make these women happy?

 

The day after will be filled with help from Clint and panicking from Natasha. She takes Maria to a diner called Rover’s and brings her lilies. Maria eyes them suspiciously until Natasha explains that it is the lesbian flower. Maria laughs and her eyes shine as she smiles.

 

They order hamburgers and fries and they share a strawberry milkshake. Natasha fidgets at the subject of  family, so Maria changes it to pets. She then finds out that Natasha not only has an apartment but also a cat.

 

“She’s not my cat. She just followed me through the door one day and I couldn’t get her out.”

 

“Sounds like your cat. What’s her name?”

 

“Liho. I named her after the embodiment of evil in russian. You should meet her.”

 

“Nat, is this you inviting me back to your apartment?” Maria mocks. “If so then yes.”

 

“Okay,” she says with a smile.

 

Liho is quite taken with Maria. Natasha ignores Maria when she mutters, “Like Natasha, like Liho.”

 

The night ends curled up on Natasha’s couch with Liho laying on Maria’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta who will remain unnamed for now. Please suggest more prompts and leave a review!


	4. I Drive All Night To Keep Her Warm Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt suggested by fipod. I tried my best but it might not be exactly what you wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little late! I was watching the new Thor and it took a while. The reactions of the Avengers and co. to their relationship.

The car ride back to Stark tower is long. Natasha manages to fall asleep to Maria humming the tune of a sappy One Direction song that she apparently knows all the words to.

Maria lowers the volume and glances over at Natasha at a red light. This is one of the only times Maria gets to see her look so peaceful. She is smiling in her sleep and Maria wonders what she’s dreaming about.

They’ve been dating for six months now and the only person who knows is Clint. How the other agents and Avengers don’t know eludes them. Aren’t they supposed to be spies?

Outside it is dark and raining. Their isn’t any thunder which Maria thank Thor for. Maybe he knows and he stopped it from happening, Maria muses, but stops herself quickly. If he knew than everyone else knew. The God was very loud.

About 30 minutes later, Maria pulls into the parking garage of Stark tower and wonders what to do with a sleeping Natasha Romanoff. Should she risk waking her up and having to deal with a grumpy Natasha? Maria decides on just carrying her up. At this time of night most agents should not be wandering the halls, and if they are they all shrink under Maria’s glare anyway.

She picks up Natasha bridal style and closes the car door. Maria quietly asks Jarvis to open the elevator doors and take them to Natasha’s floor. He complies and they are on their way up. Maria sometimes forgets how light Natasha is. She readjusts the sleeping redhead in her arms and stares at her twitching smile. A smile of her own appears on her face.

Then the elevator doors open and everything goes downhill. Phil walks in with May at his side. They both barely even glance at Maria, but Phil grins.

“Don’t say anything,” Natasha mumbles into Maria’s neck.

Phil laughs and May smirks. May is the one to speak up for the both of them.

“Phil told us when you told him. So, we have known for a while.”

Maria rests her head on the elevator wall and mutter an, “of course he did.”

“Maria Hill,” Natasha sys to her girlfriend, “don’t you dare put me down.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.” She gives Natasha a smile filled with love. Phil and May both aw, but burst out into laughter when Natasha gives them a sleep filled glare.

Then the elevator doors open again and Steve and Thor step in. Oh no.

Steve gives Maria a confused smile at the sight of Maria carrying the Black Widow bridal style, but he smiles nonetheless. Thor gives them a giant grin and his eyes light up in his godly style.

“Lady Hill, Lady Romanoff, how are you on this fine evening?”

“We are fine,” Maria says. “Thank you for asking Thor.”

The elevator doors open to the communal living area where everybody except the two get out. Natasha sighs into Maria’s neck and burrows more deeply into her girlfriend. So far the trip has been successful. Until the doors open one more time and Tony walks in. Natasha and Maria hold back their groans.

Tony smirks but doesn’t say anything.

“I swear to god Stark, if you say anything, I will come over there and beat your ass without dropping Natasha.”

His smile falters but comes back full force.

“So,” he starts, “what’s happening over there? And can I join?”

This time the two women can’t stop their groans.

“Jarvis, where’s Pepper?” Maria asks and Tony’s eyes widen.

“Right now, she is waiting for Mr. Stark to get out of the elevator to reprimand him.”

“Oh no.”

The doors open on Tony’s floor and Jarvis holds them open because Pepper asked.

“Tony, out,” she orders, then says, “Maria, Natasha, have a nice night. I apologize for Tony’s actions.” Then they leave and the doors close.

Finally the elevator arrives at their floor. Then now regret choosing one of the highest levels.

Maria walks in and dumps Natasha onto the bed. She lets out an, “oof,” but doesn’t complain much more. Maria throws a change of clothes onto Natasha and gets changed herself.

When they are both done, they wrap themselves around each other and lay in bed.

“You realize that Tony is going to be insufferable tomorrow, right Masha?”

“Yes, I do. And, I also know that our whole team knows or suspects about us. All because I didn’t want to wake you up. But it turned out that you already were awake apparently.”

Natasha smiles and pulls Maria closer to her. “You are adorable when you’re pouty.”

“I am not pouty! Is that even a word?”

Natasha kisses Maria and Maria doesn’t complain for the rest of the night.

-+-

The sun wakes Maria up at her normal time. Now she takes the time to watch Natasha slowly wake up.

“Is this a normal thing for you,” Natasha clears her voice. Maria raises an eyebrow, so Natasha clarifies, “Watching me sleep?”

“You are so beautiful when you’re sleeping.” Now it's Natasha’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “You’re beautiful all the time, but you’re peaceful when you’re sleeping. You look so happy when you’re dreaming.”

“Because I’m dreaming about you.”

Maria’s eyes widen and she smiles.

“That was very sweet, Nat.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been told that I am a very sweet person. Anyway, how about we go face the Avengers and talk about us. Ican kick Tony out if you me want to.”

“No, but I might end up hurting him. I’ll probably leave Pepper to that though.”

“I’m sure that she would volunteer her time willingly.” Natasha pauses. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? We can always go back to normal and convince them that they consumed hallucinogens.”

Maria laughs and shakes her head. “I’m ready. Are you?”

“Yes. I am.”

-+-

It goes well and they end up having a movie day afterwards, because when are you able to get everybody in the same room. Except for Bruce, but they text him and he congratulates them. The movies continue until Pepper gets pizza for the group and they take a short break.

Then the boys are being called to deal with an emergency and the only ones left are the women and a lot of alcohol.

“Without is they would be dead so many times,” May said, her wine finally getting to her.

“I know right! And Tony doesn’t even say thank you!” Pepper chimes in.

“Take our advice, date a woman.”

May gives Natasha a look. “I have, but dating somebody not in SHEILD doesn’t really work out, woman or not.”

Pepper nods.

“Wait,” Maria says, “are any of us straight?”

Everybody shakes their heads.

“Huh.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! My personal head canon is that May is so sapphic so I had to incorporate it. If you want to find me on Tumblr mine is teardropsonrooftops. Please leave a review! (And more prompts)


	5. It Started Out With A Kiss, How Did It End Up Like This?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of angsty but kind of fluffy. I didn't really have a prompt so it ended up like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not my favorite chapter. But I couldn't write a lot today so this will have to do. I hope you like it!

One kiss.

 

It’s all Natasha can think about. One single kiss. A kiss while undercover. No big deal, right? Right?

 

Wrong. Because of one tiny detail. The kiss was with Maria. Which made it complicated.

 

One fucking kiss. It won’t leave her mind.

 

Maria isn’t faring much better. She cannot get work done with the kiss playing on repeat inside her head.

 

She groans and sets her head on her desk loudly. Her door opens and she reverts back to her military posture. Her shoulders square and she lifts her head, until she sees Pepper and bangs her head on the desk again.

 

“Rough day?” Pepper laughs.

 

“Ughhhh,” Maria groans and lifts her head up again. “Pepper, if I tell you something, can you promise not to tell Tony?”

 

Pepper frowns, “of course, what’s wrong?”

 

“Remember that mission I went on with Nat yesterday?” Pepper nods. “Well, to keep our cover, she kissed me.” Maria waited for a reaction but got none.

 

“Is that not good?”

 

“No, it is not good. Because now all I can see is the way her eyes looked at me when she pulled away.”

 

“Woah. So, not good.” Pepper pauses. “How about you and I go to the gym and spar. Or you can beat my ass and I can lay there and look pretty.”

 

Maria sighs and closes the folder she was trying to focus on. “Fine.”

 

-+-

 

Natasha slams Clint to the ground for the fourth time today and walks to get her water bottle. Clint lays there on the floor groaning. She chuckles and helps him up off the ground. They have an unspoken agreement. If Natasha beats him five times in a row, Clint has to buy her lunch, and vice versa. Just one more to go and Natasha doesn’t have to pay.

 

Clint throws a punch and Natasha nimbly slides away, like a snake slithering away from an oversized and clumsy lion. As Natasha goes in for the kill shot, Maria and Pepper walk in the room and Natasha ends up on her ass.

 

While muttering many russian curses that make Maria raise her eyebrows, she raises herself up to her feet and trips Clint in the process.

 

“You guys saw that right?” he asks Maria and Pepper. “I got her!”

 

“Yeah, sure Clint. You got her.” Pepper says with a smirk. “Would you mind if Maria spars with Nat now? I would like a break for the day.”

 

Maria starts to object but Natasha raises one eyebrow and Maria gets onto the mat with a muttered ‘fine.’

 

The first round starts out slow but Maria missteps and ends up flat on her back with Natasha on top of her. They stare at each other for a while until Clint clears his throat and the two jerk apart. Maria excuses herself from the room. Natasha follows her quickly and corners her outside the door.

 

“We need to talk Masha.”

 

“About what?” she asks sarcastically.

 

“We kissed. And I’m not entirely sure that it was just to save out cover.”

 

“Natasha, just… just stop. I can’t do this right now.”

 

“No, we are going to talk about this, because I- I like you. I like you more than just a crush. And I think you like me too. So, you can say something any time now.”

 

Maria stares, eyes unblinking, and says, “I like you more than a crush too.”

 

Cheering is heard from where Pepper and Clint are pressed up against the door as the two women smile at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me at my Tumblr teardropsonrooftops and give me some prompts! Thank you for reading!


	6. Soulmate AU Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is part one, I didn't have time to finish it so I'm just going to post what I have written.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it!

It is a pleasure to meet you Ms. Hill.

 

That is the sentence that Maria has had written on her forearm since she was 13.

 

Do you know how many times people have said that to her at events she had to go to? So many times. So many times with old men flirting with her and Maria hoping and praying that it wasn’t supposed to be them. It can’t be them.

 

So Maria developed a system.

 

-:-

 

Maria walks into the cockpit in the quinjet and greets May with a smile and a nod. May glances at her but otherwise doesn’t react. Maria is glad that she does not have to put up her walls around her friend, and vice versa. 

 

May has already found her soulmate. Her soulmark is blue so it is a platonic one, because May is aromantic. May’s platonic soulmate is Phil or mostly known as Agent Coulson. Phil has two soulmarks, a platonic and a romantic. He has yet to find his romantic.

 

It is common for people to say random things whenever someone else talks to them for the first time. Usually it is for the more used phrases like, ‘hey’ or ‘can I get you something to drink.’ The person would respond with a phrase that made no sense.

 

Maria has taken to using the date and time. So at Stark‘s weekly party, she will say something like ‘October 13, 2017 at 4:56’ and when the other person doesn’t react, she knows that it is not them.

 

“Are you ready for Stark’s party tonight?” May says. When Maria nods, May tells her to get changed soon.

 

Maria sighs and gets up. She makes her way to her bunk and puts on her dress for the party. It’s a black, plain dress with black heels. She looks good.

 

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she is holding out hope that her soulmate comes to the party tonight, but she knows that the chance of that happening was not great. She goes to parties like this every week. If it was going to happen this way then it would have already happened.

 

She sighs again and opens the door. May meets her as the quinjet’s side door opens. May is in her usual dress for these events, a silver elegant one. She gives a smile to Maria and they walk onto the roof of Stark Tower together. The wind is cold against her face and she quickly wraps her arms around herself. Maria takes relief in the cold. It will be the closest to being happy she will get for the next few hours.

 

“Let’s go,” May says as she fixes a fake but believable smile on her face. They reach the elevator and press the button for the 17th floor.

 

-:-

 

Natasha makes her way around the party, avoiding the old white men looking at her like she is what they want for dinner. She spots Pepper at the bar and walks quickly, but not too quickly, to her.

 

“Where’s Stark?” Natasha asks as she orders a drink.

 

Pepper smirks and says, “Probably flirting with Bruce and drinking way too much alcohol.”

 

Natasha smiles. Her eyes drift to the elevator as the doors open. Two women step out and Natasha’s eyes widen imperceptibly. Pepper catches her gaze and smirks again.

 

“The tall one is Maria Hill and the other is Melinda May. Go say hello, I’ll be fine.”

 

Natasha glances at Pepper one last time before making her way over to Maria.

 

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a review and suggestions!


	7. Push-Ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria is exercising and Natasha is distracting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait.

“Natasha,” Maria grunts eventually, “you are making this extremely difficult.”

 

Natasha smirks at her girlfriend and hums her disagreement. She flips a page in the magazine she isn’t really reading. “I’m fine here Masha, unless you are uncomfortable?” The smile in her voice is evident even if Maria can’t see her face.

 

Maria, to her credit, does not respond. She just continues doing her push-ups and tries not to focus on the weight of her girlfriend on her back. It doesn’t work out. Natasha is not heavy, but the added weight makes her muscles burn more than they usually do.

 

Fifteen push-ups later and Maria is starting to let it show. Natasha has thrown the magazine somewhere on the floor of Stark Tower’s gym and can’t find any reasons not to stare at the way her beautiful girlfriend lifts their combined weight.

 

“Nat,” she moves to do another but stops and rests, “why are you doing this?”

 

Natasha moves from sitting up to spreading out across the taller woman’s back. She hooks her arms under Maria and laughs.

 

Maria feels Natasha laugh and smiles. Her muscles might be burning but Natasha is happy, so it’s worth it.

 

“I am helping you exercise.” Natasha says it so confidently that Maria almost believes her until she remembers that this is Natasha she’s dealing with.

 

“Is that so?” Maria continues to exercise. Natasha’s hands move up and down Maria’s sides and her arms start to give out. “Stop that,” she warns but Natasha doesn’t listen. She usually never listens. “We are still in a public place, Nat.”

 

Natasha pouts and moves her hands away from Maria’s sides. She lets them hang there and buries her face in Maria’s neck. At this point, Maria almost face dives onto the gym floor beneath her.

 

Maria’s phone alarm goes off on the bench next to them, and Natasha reluctantly climbs off of her girlfriend to shut it off. Maria drops to the ground and rolls onto her back. 

 

A solid weight presses down on her, pushing her further into the mat. Natasha rests her elbows on either side of Maria’s head, her own face hovering over her girlfriend’s. Maria breathes a sigh of relief and closes her eyes, a smile gracing her lips.

 

“You,” Natasha says teasingly, “just couldn’t wait to get under me again, could you?”

 

“We both know that’s not how it usually goes.” Maria’s smile turns into a smirk as she opens her eyes.

 

“Commander Hill,” Natasha mock gasps, sitting up to straddle Maria.

 

“We’re still in a public place, Nat.”

 

As to emphasize Maria’s words, the doors to the gym slide open. Pepper and Steve walk in, but stop as soon as they see the two on the floor. Pepper raises an eyebrow and smirks. Steve ducks his head, a blush filling his cheeks as he rubs at his neck.

 

Maria removes her glare from the intruders and looks up at Natasha. The redhead has her trademark smirk and a mischievous glint in her eyes. Maria knows from experience that Natasha takes pleasure in embarrassing Steve. Before Natasha can do anything extreme, Maria pushes herself off of the floor, pulling Natasha up with her and carrying her bridal style. Natasha barely suppresses a yelp at the display of strength.

 

Pepper pulls Steve aside just in time for Maria to stride past, her face blank. Her old military training prepared her for embarrassing situations.

 

Once out of the gym, Maria’s blank expression breaks into a smile. Natasha leans her head into the crook of Maria’s neck. Her shoulders shake with suppressed laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave prompts! I don't really have any motivation because of school.


	8. Soulmate AU Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the Soul Mate AU!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! This one is a little longer than my normal ones.

_ December 19, 2017 at 8:14 _

 

Natasha’s soulmark has plagued her skin since she was 12. The Red Room trains their children to kill their soulmate on sight, but SHIELD's deprograming got rid of that, Natasha hopes.

 

She hasn’t looked at the date on her back for years now. She has almost forgotten about it completely.

 

\--+--

 

Natasha hates these parties. Pepper tries to get her to attend most of them, but being the superspy that Natasha is, she always gets out of them. But today, Pepper had cornered her and blackmailed her. She threatened to tell Tony about the enjoyable night the two spent together a year ago, so Natasha caved.

 

Natasha put on a long red dress. She arrived at Stark’s party before most people got there, so she had plenty of time to start drinking and avoid everybody.

 

Until two women walked in. One is shorter and Pepper says she is the famous Melinda May. Natasha has heard stories of May when she ‘joined’ S.H.I.E.L.D. The other is Commander Maria Hill. Natasha has been avoiding her superiors since she joined, so it is not surprising that she doesn’t recognize the woman.

 

Commander Hill is wearing a long black dress that Natasha can’t tear her eyes away from.

 

As she watches the two, a smirk pulls at her face. Hill is awkward and stilted as she shakes hands with everybody. She checks her watch every other minute, which Natasha quickly pushes to the back of her mind. She can’t hope about this.

 

Natasha pushes herself off of the bar. She walks quickly, but not too quickly, to the two women. She watches as May soots a look to Hill before walking off to Phil Coulson.

 

Natasha approaches Hill with a smirk. The taller woman unashamedly looks her up and down, then makes eye contact with a teasing smile.

 

_ “ _ _ It is a pleasure to meet you Ms. Hill,” _ Natasha says, holding out her hand to shake.

 

She watches as Hill hesitates before checking her watch and shaking Natasha’s outstretched hand.

 

_ “December 19, 2017 at 8:14.” _

 

Natasha freezes.

 

It’s not uncommon for people to say the date and time, but this time it’s different. Natasha’s body flushes. Her back burns where her soulmark is, but it feels cold at the same time.

 

Natasha’s eyes dart around the room in panic, searching for an exit. She had forgotten the date, but now it’s so clear in her mind. Natasha needs to leave. What if the deprograming didn’t work? What if she kills her soulmate right now?

 

She quickly removes her hand and takes hurried steps back. Maria’s face contorts in confusion before her eyes widen.

 

“Wait, Natasha,” Maria asks as Natasha sprints toward the nearest exit, the balcony.

 

\--+--

 

Maria enters the main room with Melinda by her side. Her eyes catch on a woman in a red dress standing by Pepper at the bar. May sees her eyes drifting and her lips quirk.

 

“Her name is Natasha Romanoff. She’s the Black Widow.”

 

Maria’s jaw almost drops as she lets her eyes linger on Natasha. She now recognizes the signature red hair and green eyes.

 

After Maria has shaken hands with all of the men and women of Stark’s party, Natasha walks toward May and Maria. May deserts the taller woman and moves away from the encounter. Maria shoots her a glare but it’s interrupted by Natasha standing in front of her with a smirk.

 

\--+--

 

Maria races after Natasha when she gets to the balcony. Natasha Romanoff is Maria’s soulmate. The Black Widow is her soulmate. Why did she run?

 

Maria throws open the balcony doors to see Natasha standing by the railing, breathing shakily. She doesn’t make any sign of noticing the other woman, but Maria knows that she heard her.

 

“Natasha,” she whispers as she moves beside the redhead, “are you okay?”

 

Natasha shakes her head and glances over to lock eyes with Maria.

 

“Why did you run?”

 

Natasha pauses before answering with a hint of a smile. “Why did you run after me?”

 

Maria chuckles quietly. She looks out at the city below. “I think you know why.”

 

“Yeah. I’m sure you’ve read my file.” She waits for Maria to nod before continuing. “In the Red Room, they taught us to… kill our soulmates. I was,” she pauses before whispering, “scare, I guess. Scared that I would kill you.”

 

Maria stares out at the city and takes in the information. She read Natasha’s file, and she even ran a mission to take down one of the Red Room sites. She understands, but she still doesn’t know what Natasha went through. So, she puts her hand out in front of the both of them.

 

Natasha hesitantly reaches out and grasps Maria’s hand with her own.

 

“You won’t kill me Natasha. If anything, you will be seeing more of me. We’re soulmates, Natasha. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

 

The two women smile at each other, hands gripping each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave prompts! You can contact me at Tumblr at teardropsonrooftops or qquoththeravenn.


	9. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a snow storm and coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's really short, I didn't have a lot of time.

Maria turns her chair, looking out the window of her office. Her job with Stark is boring. She really wishes she never took it. The Tower is in lockdown, waiting for the storm to pass. Maria’s desk is piled high with files and reports.

The snow outside is getting worse, and Maria realises she will be here for a while.

Maria hears footprints in the hallway. She turns back to her desk and opens a file in time for the door to open. She pretends to look angry at the interruption, but drops it when she sees Natasha in the doorway.

Maria’s eyes are drawn instantly to the smirk on Natasha’s face, then she catches the gleam in the woman’s eyes. Maria knows that she’s been caught slacking on her work. The next thing Maria notices is the cup of coffee in Natasha’s hand.

Maira sits up, her shoulders squared. Coffee sounds so good to her, with the four hours of sleep she got the night before. The need in her eyes makes Natasha chuckle and she places the coffee on Maria’s desk.

The taller woman grabs the cup thankfully and takes a sip. She relaxes into her chair with a sigh at the warmth spreading through her body. The storm picks up outside, and the noise from the snow gets louder on the window.

Natasha moves around the desk and stands facing the window.

“So,” Natasha says, her eyes drifting to Maira’s face, “why are you pretending to do your work?”

Maria sets her cup back on the desk and looks up at the redhead. “I have all day to finish these reports, maybe more if this storm continues. Thank you for the coffee.”

“I knew that you would need it.” She sits on the desk next to the chair. Maria smiles and closes her eyes. 

“What’s happening to your face?” Natasha’s voice is teasing, and Maria can hear the smirk. “Is that a smile I see?”

Maria’s eyes open but the smile stays where it is. “You think you’re funny?”

“I think I am adorable.” 

“Well, I don’t disagree.”

The two look at each other for a moment, just smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments! Give prompts! Say hi!


	10. Never Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very angsty with fluff at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the angst. This one's a little longer than normal because I am better at writing angst.

Natasha wakes up panting. She’s sweating and her heart feels like it’s beating out of her chest. She sits up and runs her hands through her hair to calm herself down. Natasha has the sudden urge to cry, but she pushes it back.

She takes deep breaths and tries to soothe the panic roaring through her blood. This is the second time this week. It needs to stop; she needs to be on top of her game for her missions. But something is holding her back from a peaceful sleep.

Natasha’s eyes sweep the room, searching for anything out of the ordinary. She finds nothing, unsurprisingly.

It should be so easy to forget the nightmares, but they’re not nightmares. They’re memories. Horrible, horrible memories. Ever since her deprogramming, they have appeared more often in her sleep.

Natasha wishes that she could be near Maria even in sleep, but that would be too easy. Whenever she is around, Natasha fells calmer and comforted, even when they only brush by each other in the Helicarrier. It might have something to do with Natasha’s crush.

Maria would know what to do when Natasha is haunted by the horrors of her past. She always knows what to do.

If Natasha had the energy to move, she would go to Maria. She would knock on the woman’s door and hope to the gods Maria answered. But she is drained from the memory, so she lies back down and stares at the ceiling. She counts to ten and steadies her breathing. She will get through this. She has to. People depend on her. Clint needs her as a friend. Furry needs her to complete missions. Maria needs her to… Natasha’s not sure why Maria needs her. She is not sure why Maria cares. Natasha shouldn’t matter to her.

As if on cue, there is a knock on Natasha’s door. She stops breathing, stops moving, waiting for whomever’s at the door to leave. They keep knocking.

Natasha tries to pull herself together, but she doesn’t know if she succeeds or not. She sits up anyway, and strides quietly to the door. She clears her throat and calls out in what she hopes is her normal voice.

“Who is it?” Natasha hears the crack in her voice and winces.

“It’s Maria.” Maria’s voice is soft. She must have heard the weakness in Natasha’s voice. The thought makes her want to cry even more. “May I come in?”

Natasha takes a deep, shuddering breath before undoing the many locks and opening the door. She expects to see the squared shoulders and a straightened spine of the Assistant Director, but instead sees the worn clothes and makeup free Maria. Just Maria. Her hair is down and out of its usual bun.

She meets Natasha’s eyes carefully, waiting for her to bolt. She always does when things get emotional. Maria sees the tears barely staying in Natasha’s eyes.

“Why are you here, Maria?” Her voice is back to its usual monotone, but Maria sees through it. She sees the rigidness of Natasha’s posture, and the way she keeps her distance as Maria moves into the room.

Natasha closes the door slowly, giving Maria time to leave. She stays.

“I heard about your latest mission. How it went south. I came to see how you are.”

The mission had been a lot earlier in the night, but Maria has the night shift at the Helicarrier’s control center, so she usually gets back a little after midnight.

It had been a simple data retrieval mission, but they had known Shield was coming. They were prepared, Natasha and Clint were not. Clint took a bullet to the shoulder, Natasha one in the leg. It has mostly healed, and she feels the wound slowly stitching itself back together.

Maria is still staring at her, watching her mind drift back to the mission. Natasha realises that she is waiting for an answer of some kind.

“I’m fine.” Even before Natasha says it, she knows it sounds fake.

“We both know that’s not true.”

Natasha won’t break down in front of one of the only people who care. She won’t. But, her body betrays her as her mind protests.

“Remember the nightmares I had after deprogramming?” Natasha’s voice is a slow whisper. “I never told anybody else about them, because they are memories. Memories of my past, the Red Room. And they’re back.”

After deprogramming, Maria had caught the end of one of her nightmares, but Natasha had later told her that they had stopped. They didn’t.

“How long?”

Natasha meets her eyes with blank ones, letting Maria know that they never truly went away. Maria nods in understanding.

The rapidness of Natasha’s breathing is gone. Her heart rate is returning to normal. She is almost back to her normal, emotionless self. Maria won’t let her do that. She won’t let her close herself off.

“Nat,” Maria whispers. She steps toward the woman slowly.

Natasha steps back. The tears threaten to fall again, so she lowers her head and closes her eyes. She will not break down. Not in front of Maria.

“Hey,” Maria says. She’s closer than she was a minute ago.

Maria brings a hand up to Natasha’s chin. She gently moves her face up again. A tear leaves Natasha’s closed eye, which Maria slowly wipes away. She doesn’t offer any reassuring words, just leaves her hands on Natasha. One on her chin and one on her cheek. Her touch offers more comfort than words to Natasha.

“You can let it out, Nat. I’m here.”

Natasha is the one who gives in first. She doesn’t mean to, but she needs it. She’s never been able to have someone to cry to. She’s never had someone to talk to besides Clint, and it’s not the same. So, she moves first.

She takes Maria’s hands and moves them away from her face. Then she opens her eyes. They focus on Maria’s green ones. She moves Maria’s hands to circle around her own shoulders. Natasha’s hands move around Maria’s waist. She buries her head into the crook of Maria’s neck and closes her eyes again.

Natasha breathes out slowly into Maria. The brunette’s arms tighten around her.

“I’m sorry.” Natasha’s tears soak Maria’s worn military shirt. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for Natasha. It’s not your fault. You’ll get through this. You’re strong.”

Natasha manages to shake her head in denial.

“Yes you are.” Maria pulls back from the embrace. “You are the strongest person I know.”

Natasha laughs dryly. “No, I’m not. I’m weak. I’m crying.”

“That doesn’t make you weak. That makes you human.” Maria places her hands on the shorter woman’s shoulders. “You should try to sleep.”

“I  _ can’t _ .” Her voice breaks on the last word.

“What if I stay? Will that help?”

Natasha doesn’t want to respond, but she nods. She doesn’t want to admit it. No matter what Maria says, she’s not strong. She’s barely even human.

Maria guides her to the bed and picks up the sheets from the ground. When Natasha curls up on the bed, Maria sets them on her. When Natasha looks up pleadingly, Maria moves around to the other side of the bed. She lies down next to Natasha and lays a hand on her shoulder, trying to get her to relax. She pulls Natasha back into her and wraps an arm around her waist.

“Relax, Nat.”

As Natasha’s breath slowly evens out over the next hour, Maria keeps her hold on her. She falls asleep as the sun rises.

-+-

When they wake up in the morning, Natasha doesn’t care that she’s letting herself be weak. She’s wrapped in Maria’s warmth, and none of her other problems matter. When Maria’s breathing changes, meaning she’s waking up, Natasha burrows deeper into Maria’s body.

“We have to get up eventually, Nat.”

“No, we don’t.”

“It’s almost noon.”

“So what?” Natasha pouts into Maria’s neck. “I have the day off after yesterday’s mission, and you have the night shift again.”

“You do make a convincing point. I’m not opposed to sleeping in.”

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a review! Sorry I haven't been posting lately, I've been writing a trans!Peter Parker fit with a mother figure Natasha.


	11. Making Good Beach Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria hates the beach until Natasha helps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So angst then fluff, my specialty. I hope you enjoy. This one is longer than normal.

Maria looks out at the ocean. The blue-green water and the schools of fish she can see through it. She can see sailboats and barges on the horizon. There are families in the sand, making memories. Three surfers chose to try out the calm waters.

Maria never had this. She never had this calm. She never had a place to relax. Well, except for the army, but that wasn’t as serene as this. Under DADT she was never allowed to be herself. The sight of the ocean and the sound of the waves remind her of the shame she felt when she was discharged.

She hasn’t seen the ocean properly, felt the sand beneath her feet, in years. Since before the military. Maria has to say, she doesn’t miss it.

Stark had decided to throw a beach party after a particularly rough mission of the Avengers’. He invited his staff and his team, Maria included. She didn’t want to go, But Pepper managed to convince her.

So now she sits all alone in the sand. The water rushes towards her feet and retreats. The sun glares down at her, and she hides her face in the crook of her elbow. She wears an old military t-shirt and shorts, her hair pulled into a ponytail. Just a few more hours and she will be back in her business suit, heels clicking down the hallways of Stark Tower.

Luckily, Maria doesn’t sunburn easily.

She hears footsteps heading towards her in the sand. Maria’s shoulders square and her head moves to face the ocean, but she doesn’t acknowledge the person in any other way. She sees a flash of red hair as they sit beside her on the ground. She can barely contain her smile, but somehow she does.

“Why did you come if you’re not going to swim?” Natasha’s voice is curious and Maria can hear her smirk.

Maria turns to look at her. She can see the way the sun hits her red hair, lights it up like fire. Maria wouldn’t object to being burned.

“I’ll give you one guess.” Maria tries to hide the cycling emotions in her voice and make them sarcastic. If Natasha notices the change in demeanor, she doesn’t mention it.

“Pepper.”

“Yeah.”

The two sit in a companionable silence. Maria sneaks glances at the redhead out of the corner of her eye, to see her looking out at the ocean with an expression Maria can’t quite identify.

“How are you, Nat?”

It was a tough mission, but for Natasha especially. They ran into Red Room agents who tried to activate her triggers. She had killed them both, but not before they had brought up the red in her past.

_ Love is for children, Natalia. Remember that. _

Natalia - no - Natasha blinks rapidly, trying to get the memory out of her head. Maria is waiting patiently for an answer, one that is preferably not a lie.

“I-” Natasha shakes her head, “I will be fine.” Her smile is back, but Maria sees the fake eating at the edges and in her eyes.

“Okay.”

“‘Okay’? That’s all?” Natasha turns her body to Maria. She arches an eyebrow incredulously.

“You’ll tell me on your own time.” Maria looks back at the ocean. Her eyes harden at the sight of Steve and Bucky tackling each other in the water.

All of it just reminds her of the life she never had.

“Are  _ you _ okay?” Natasha turns the question back at her. She’s frowning, and Maria feels guilty taking away the smile from the world. “And don’t you dare say you’re fine.”

Maria looks down to the ground, letting the wind fill the silence. She gets her words together in her head before speaking quietly.

“When I was little, my father gambled and drank. He never took us to places like this because he was usually in some shit bar giving away the rent for the month. It’s just weird to be here. I joined the military to get out of my father’s reach. But now, all I can see when I look at the water is my dear old dad.” She chuckles humorlessly.

“It’s not that big of a deal. I just… I never had this. I never had this childhood or happiness. The last time I felt actually happy was…” Maria drifts off, and a blush creeps up her neck. “Remember when we had that mission in Oklahoma? We finished early, so we rented that rusty pickup and drove up to that forest by the lake. That was the last time I was actually happy.”

Maria feels tears pricking her eyes, and she quickly wipes them away. She feels Natasha place a hand on her knee.

“It’s not a big deal, Nat.”

“Yes,” she says softly, “yes it is.” Natasha scoots closer to Maria in the sand, so that their legs and shoulders touch. “I think about that day a lot. The way you laughed when the birds stole our food. The way you caught fish for us to eat after that with only a sharp stick. Even when I pushed you into the lake.” She laughs quietly and nudges Maria’s shoulder.

“You mean when you pushed me and I pulled you in with me?” She cracks a small smile.

“Yeah, that. That was a good day.” Natasha watches as Maria ducks her head, trying to hide her blush. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Maria glances up at her. She raises an eyebrow. “I will when you will.” Her smirk brings back the smile to Natasha’s face.

“Touche.”

Natasha lowers her head onto Maria’s shoulder. She ignores the way the woman stiffens, because Maria relaxes a moment later. Her smile grows as she feels Maria set her forehead against the top of her own head. Natasha pulls her knees up to rest on Maria’s leg and cuddles closer to her.

“Nat, you know that Tony’s gawking at us, right?”

“Of course. He has been since the beginning of this conversation. You’re slipping, Masha.”

Natasha can feel the vibrations of Maria’s voice and laughter as she chuckles into Natasha’s hair. She smiles. She’s happy. Maria’s happy.

Now, as Maria looks out at the water, with the warmth of Natasha wrapped around her body, she feels happy. The waves crash and sweep up to Maria’s feet, then retreat back into the ocean. As she watches them recede, she isn’t reminded of her father, she’s reminded of that day in the woods. They got soaked from the lake and warmed themselves near the fire. Natasha had flirted and Maria had flirted back, but nothing happened.

Maria’s crush is rearing its head as Natasha breathes softly onto her neck. She needs to do something, say something. But she doesn’t want to ruin what they already have.

“I can feel you thinking, Masha.”

Maria startles out of her thoughts and takes a deep breath. She has to say something.

“Natasha… I have to tell you something.”

Natasha picks her head up from Maria’s shoulder and looks into her green eyes.

“What is it?” Natasha is frowning, expecting something bad. Maria sighs.

“I-”

Maria is interrupted by a volleyball hitting her in the back. She gets knocked forward into the water. She turns over and blinks in surprise. Natasha leans over her, her red hair haloing Maria’s line of sight.

“Maria,” she says, her hand on Maria’s shoulder, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she groans.

Tony shouts out his apologies and retrieves the volleyball from the water. He almost comments about Natasha helping Maria to sit up, but stops at the glare the both of them level him with.

“What were you going to say before?”

Natasha is sitting in front of Maria, a hand gripping her bicep. Maria searches for words. She is distracted by Natasha’s fingers tracing her muscles, and she makes a split second decision.

Maria surges forward, grabbing Natasha by the shoulders and pulling her towards herself. She kisses Natasha, timidly at first, but she’s braver as Natasha kisses back. After a moment, Natasha pulls back and rests her forehead on Maria’s.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, wow.”

Maria hears wolf whistles from behind her toward the beach and blushes. Natasha chuckles and flips Clint off. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now,” Maria admits quietly.

“Me too. And I’m so glad you did.”

They share another sweet, short kiss, ignoring Wanda and Pepper shouting in the background.

The waves are a background noise that Maria is finally happy to have. She realises as Natasha pushes her down onto the sand that this will be her first happy memory at the beach. As she smiles into the kiss, she knows she will want to see the ocean more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I'm horrible at writing kiss scenes, but give me a chance. Also, leave reviews and prompts!


	12. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha gets back from a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

Natasha adjusts the fake glasses on her nose. She glances around the coffee shop, looking for her mark. He sits at a table near her, talking on his phone and angrily sipping his coffee. She looks him up and down. He is wearing a normal business suit, and Natasha can see many ways to get what she needs from him.

The man, Keith Williams, hangs up his phone with a glare, going back to drinking the last of his coffee.

Natasha watches as he stands to throw the cup away. She adjusts her glasses again and sets a happy smile on her face. She stands, smoothes out her skirt, and makes her way over to him under the guise of throwing away her trash. As he turns to return to his seat, he bumps into Natasha.

She removes his wallet from his suit jacket pocket as she stumbles, bracing herself against him.

“Oh,” she says, “I’m sorry. I can be so clumsy sometimes!” Natasha stands straight and smiles at him flirtatiously.

Williams smiles back, not seeing the way Natasha tucks his wallet into her jacket pocket. “It was probably my fault. How about I repay you with lunch?” He openly leers at her. Natasha fights the urge to put him in a headlock as she politely declines.

“Sadly, I have to get to work. But I’m sure I’ll see you around some time.” She gives him a wink as she turns on her heel and walks through the door into the hot summer air. Once she’s out of sight of the coffee shop, she clicks on her comm. She dodges her way through business men and coffee drinkers.

“Wallet retrieved. Heading to rendezvous with Hawkeye. Widow out.” She taps her comm again to turn it off.

The sidewalks are packed as she makes her way to the agreed rendezvous point. They decided on a parking garage near the coffee shop. She walks quickly, glancing around her to see if anybody is following.

“Copy that Widow,” an agent’s voice comes through her comms. “Hawkeye is waiting.”

Natasha takes the stairs two at a time to get to the roof of the parking garage. She bursts through the doors to see the Quinjet. Clint is standing on the ramp, his usual smile stretching his face. He ushers her inside and closes the ramp. The two make their way to the cockpit, where Clint takes the pilot’s seat. Natasha hands him the wallet she stole and excuses herself to go change.

When she returns, she is wearing her Shield uniform. She sits heavily in the passenger’s seat of the cockpit. Natasha watches the clouds pass as Clint flies them toward the Helicarrier.

“Why do we need Williams’ wallet anyway?” she asks as they approach the Shield base.

“We need his ID to get into Alpha Tech, his company. Agents May and Morse will be sent to get in and retrieve the info we need to take them down. You’ve earned the rest of the day off.”

“All I did was steal a wallet. That is not worthy of a day off.”

Clint gives her a look as he sets the Quinjet down onto the Helicarrier’s deck. “Don’t complain, Tasha. If Fury wants to give you a day off, take it. And you did more than just steal a wallet, you also gained his trust, we might need that in the future.” They stand and make their way out to the deck. “Now go, have fun. Explore.”

Natasha rolls her eyes, but she does as she’s told. Her feet take her to her room. It’s sparsely decorated and has only the bare necessities to house life.

Most of Natasha’s stuff is scattered on the floor of Maria’s room, so she doesn’t have much need for her own, but to keep up appearances, she has to use it. Maria insisted.

The thought of Maria fills Natasha with longing. She hasn’t seen the woman in three days because of Maria’s meetings and Natasha’s missions. She needs to see her again. Natasha tugs on her jacket hanging in her closet. She swiftly leaves her room and walks to the command center where Maria should be.

Natasha stills when she gets to the room. Maria is standing at the center of it all, her commanding stance making the agents around her get the job done. She scours the screens in front of her, searching for anything out of the ordinary.

Natasha leans against the wall, partially hiding herself from view. She is amazed by the way Maria demands attention without even realising it. The whole command center seems to wait for her orders, holding its breath until she gestures or speaks.

Maria’s posture stiffens, unnoticeably to anyone not paying attention. As she subtly glances around the room, Natasha knows she’s been made. She catches Maria’s eye in the reflection of one of her screens. Natasha winks, making a light blush travel up Maria’s neck.

The Assistant Director says something to an agent that Natasha can’t hear and steps away from the screens in front of her. She walks at a leisurely pace toward the exit of the command center. Natasha steps into the shadows before Maria can make eye contact with her, but Maria knows she’s there.

She sees the red hair before she sees Natasha. The woman pulls her into the shadows with her, wrapping her arms around her so she cannot escape.

“Nat, you’re back,” Maria says between kisses. “Not that I’m complaining, but shouldn’t you be on a mission?”

“I think Fury wanted me to stop badgering him about spending more time with you. Clint told me to ‘have fun’ and ‘explore.’” Natasha puts on a deep voice to imitate Clint. Maria laughs.

“Like you don’t know every inch of this place already. My shift ends in an hour.”

Natasha nods, and leans in for a quick kiss.

“I’ll be waiting.”

Natasha watches as Maria walks back into the command room. She sees Maria subtly glance back at her with a small smile, which quickly disappears as she looks back at the screens.

She loves this woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a review or contact me at my Tumblr, teardropsonrooftops! I might not post for a while because I am working on my attempt at a novel.


	13. Nyctophilia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nyctophilia(nĭk′tə-fĭl′ē-ə)  
> n.  
> A preference for the night or darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written for Aureate August on Tumblr. This is the first day.

In the darkness, everything is simpler. A sound is just a sound. There are no colors or distractions. In the darkness, she can be anyone. She’s not Natalia. She’s not Natasha. She’s not the Black Widow. She just simply is.

Maria finds this out slowly.

They are laying next to each other on a safe house’s pull out couch when it first happens. The power flickers, then goes out completely. Maria freezes, her eyes flicking around the room for any sign of trouble. She finds none. She relaxes when she drowns out the noise of the air conditioning to hear the heavy pounding of rain on the roof.

Natasha sighs, relief coating her voice. Maria turns her head towards the sound. She knows she won’t be able to see the other woman, but she’s surprised by it.

“Are you okay?” Maria fights the urge to reach for her, just barely. They’re not in a relationship, no matter how much Maria wants to be.

“Yeah,” Natasha whispers back. She shuffles around, turning on her side towards Maria, but being careful of her broken rib. “I’m great.”

At first, Maria thinks she’s being sarcastic, but the way she says it is genuine, almost bashful.

Maria files this away with all of Natasha’s other quirks and secrets.

The next time it comes up is after a mission, and they’re still not in a relationship. Maria lost three agents. She almost lost two more. Fury sent her back to her bunk after she filed her mission report, but she can’t stay in the helicarrier.

Maria stumbles her way into Stark’s Tower at two in the morning. She had patched herself up in the taxi, much to the chagrin of the driver. Her shoulder got clipped by a Hydra agent’s lucky shot, but that’s the only major wound. The others are mostly bruises and cuts. Maria has enough energy to tip the cab driver and make herself enter Stark’s elevator, her hand faintly pushing on the button for Natasha’s floor.

She has stayed here before, in the guest bedroom, but she’s so tired that she mixes up the rooms this time.

Maria hesitates when the lights don’t turn on as she opens the door. She fumbles against the wall for a light switch, but doesn’t find one. It’s pitch black, and she realises that maybe this isn’t the guest bedroom.

“Maria?”

The woman freezes.

Natasha turns her phone on. The dim light illuminates a couple of feet. Maria sees Natasha sit up in her bed, red hair messy and sleep etched into the frown on her face.

“Are you alright?” Natasha’s voice kicks Maria out of her own mind.

“Yeah-yes,” Maria says, her voice dry and tired. “I am. Sorry, I thought this was the guest room. I’ll go.” She turns to leave but is stopped by a single word. It is spoken as a command, but it hides so much emotion.

“Wait.”

The phone has turned off in the silence that follows where both freeze. Natasha realising what she had said and the way she had said it, and Maria overthinking everything that had happened in the last minute or so.

“I mean-” Natasha sounds uncharacteristically nervous “-you can go if you want to, but… what happened?”

Maria stays. She lets her head fall back onto the closed door. She sighs, long and drawn out. She lets herself feel. Lets her muscles relax and her shoulders fall. Lets her brain stop thinking about what she did wrong and how she could have saved her agents.

Natasha doesn’t push as Maria explains from her spot at the door. She just slips out of her bed silently and leans on the wall next to the other woman.

When Maria can’t go on, her voice trails off and her eyes fill with tears, Natasha guides her into the bed. Maria doesn’t protest. She lets herself be pushed down and lets the red-head pull off her combat boots and strip her tac suit off, leaving her in a sports bra and boxers. She helps a little, moving when she needs to. Her eyes stare into the darkness as Natasha settles into the bed next to her. The comforter is pulled over them both.

Maria feels an arm wrap around her waist and a head bury into the crook of her neck. Tears stream down her face. It’s not in her control anymore.

Natasha just wipes them away and pulls her closer.

The next morning, Maria wakes to the smell of bacon and pancakes. Her favorite.

She looks up to the ceiling and sees that there are no lights. Interesting. Natasha leaves a note next to the food in the kitchen, saying,  _ Got called away, movie night tonight? _

The third time Maria notices, her theory is confirmed.

They have gotten into the habit of sleeping in the same bed after Maria’s failed mission.

Sometimes Natasha has nightmares. Bad ones.

And sometimes the dreams are not the worst part, waking up is.

They are wrapped around each other in Maria’s bunk. They were both too tired to go all the way back to Stark Tower, so they crashed here. Maria, being the Assistant Director of SHIELD, has a room overlooking the sky or the ocean depending on the day. Her room has a large window. Maria had the foresight to shut the curtains before falling into bed, because it was past the middle of the night and they don’t have to wake up until noon.

Something wakes Maria. She opens her eyes. Dim sunlight streams in through the closed curtains, tracing Natasha’s sleeping face with gold. But her eyebrows are furrowed and her mouth is turned down in a frown.

Natasha flinches, and her eyes fly open. She gasps back a scream.

Maria’s hand hovers over Natasha’s hairline, her fingers pushing back red curls stuck to the other woman’s forehead. Maria must have been asleep for most of the nightmare.

Natasha’s green eyes search the room frantically. She tries to focus on Maria, but ends up squeezing her eyes shut instead. Maria takes this in, her tactician brain piecing it all together.

Nat’s hand clenches around Maria’s forearm.

She thinks fast.

Maria pulls the comforter above both of their heads, covering them in darkness. Natasha relaxes almost immediately. Her grip loosens. She exhales. Her heart is still racing, but not dangerously.

Maria dares to break the silence.

“Next time, I’m getting blackout curtains.”

Natasha chokes out a laugh that quickly turns into a sob. Maria just wraps her arms tighter around her.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed!


	14. Fulgent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aureate August day two.  
> ful·gent  
> ˈfəljənt  
> adjective literary  
> shining brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty short, but I have had a lot going on.

Even in the darkness, Maria shines. She extinguishes all the bad from the air around her. She pulls everybody around her into orbit with her wit and charm. She smirks and the world erupts.

“Nat,” the object of Natasha’s thoughts says, snapping her out of her daze. “You okay?”

Maria is looking at her funny.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Natasha quirks an eyebrow. Her instincts kick on, and she acts like she wasn’t just caught staring.

“No reason.” Maria smiles and sips at her drink.

Natasha doesn’t react. She doesn’t give away the fact that that smile is the reason she gets up in the morning. She just turns back to her own drink and pretends that she doesn’t have a massive crush on the woman next to her.

“So,” Maria continues, setting her drink back on the bar, “Melinda came by my office today to complain about Phil.”

“That doesn’t sound like her.”

“Well, by complain, I mean order me to spar with her when I asked about him.”

And they’re back to normal. Maria tells her about her day as they both make their way through their drinks.

Natasha resumes her staring, disguising it as listening.

The last light of the day comes in through Natasha’s floor’s window. Maria’s back is facing the window, so the sun paints her outline with its light. Natasha sighs as Maria explains Fury’s mood, but she nods along appropriately.

Maria’s hair is pulled up into a loose bun with some stray strands hanging to frame her face. Her green-blue eyes are alight with the last life of the sun. It leaves shadows to highlight her cheekbones and her smile.

Before Natasha knows it, Maria has stopped talking. She is looking at her with a smirk.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Natasha sounds a little bashful, but tries to cover it up with her signature flirty smile.

“You’re staring.”

This time Natasha can’t help the blush that climbs up her neck. She looks down at the bar as she gathers her courage.

“I can’t help it. You are fulgent.”

She looks up, batting her eyelashes, her smirk in full force.

Maria looks exasperated. Nat can see her cheeks darken, which she counts as a success.

“I knew Clint shouldn’t have gotten you that dictionary. Are you drunk?”

Natasha has had more than Maria has.

“Maybe a little tipsy. It doesn’t change that you shine in the sunlight.”

“Yeah, you’re a little more than tipsy.” Maria chuckles and takes Natasha’s drink. She stands and offers the other woman a hand.

As she guides Natasha to their shared bed, she feels the need to tease a little.

“If I shine in the sunlight, what do I do in the moonlight?”

“Glow.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave reviews! I appreciate you all!

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think! Should I add more soon?


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